Friday, May 30, 2008

Taking Alice Munro to See "Sex and the City: The Movie"

It's tough to say how many Candace Bushnell books Alice Munro's read. I'm tempted to say three: Four Blondes, Lipstick Jungle, and the original Sex and the City novel. I can see Alice turning the pages, reading, thinking, "Oh, yes. Soooooooo true."

So with the Sex and the City movie coming out tonight, I wondered, logically, what it would be like to take Munro to Silver City Eglinton. What it'd be like to stand in line with her; have a vodka martini with her; share an extra-small popcorn.

First, the line:

Alice: So many people.

David: Do they make you nervous?

Alice: I feel so underdressed. Such beautiful prints.

David: Florals are in this year.

Alice: Look at what I'm wearing.

David: You look fine.

Alice: But look at their shoes. Red. Look at those heels!

David: Your shoes are fine.

Alice: They're so old.

David: Don't be silly. You just made them last week.

Then, inside the theatre:

David: Samantha really pisses me off.

Alice: I love her.

David: Really?

Alice: I think we could spend all day eating lunch, talking. She's so vital.

David: She actually reminds me of you.

Alice: Really?

David: Yeah. See how she chews her nails.

Finally, the drive home:

David: Well, that was fun. What about you? Did you have a good time?

Alice: I had a great time.

David: That's good. We should do it again.

Alice: I don't know. I have a lot of reading to do.

David: That can always wait.

Alice: I have so much writing to do.

David: That can always wait.

Alice: I've got plans with Margaret. But she can come with us!

David: ...Well, if you're busy...

Yeah, I'm sure that's how it'd be.


Darryl Whetter said...

Your blog's a (welcome) scream. Could you contact me?

Shelf Talk said...

Very Funny. I wonder what would happen if the next title by Alice or Margaret or Toni or Joyce Carol came out jacketed like a chick lit book. I'd really love to see that happen. Start surprising folks.

All Posts On This Site Are Intended As Juvenalian Satire. If They Veer Into Horatian Satire, That's OK Too. Just, Please, Don't Take Them Too Seriously. PhD Students Can't Afford Libel Suits. CUPE Doesn't Cover Court Costs.
Site Meter